Class Warfare

All the talk about ‘Class Warfare’ has gotten me thinking. I know all about class warfare, and the devastating effects it can have on people’s lives. On reflection, it seems clear that there’s nothing new going on. The Class War has been raging for quite some time now, and for all intents and purposes it is over. What seems just as clear is that the poor have won a decisive victory.   

Just look around any of our major city streets – their patrols are everywhere! Holding signs on street corners, in food kitchens, crowding our emergency rooms, or under freeway overpasses – everywhere taxing passers-by for their hand-outs. 

Free from the constraints of home ownership, or the scheduling restrictions of jobs, the poor quarter themselves overnight in the doorways of downtown stores, in alleys, or any other warm place– arrogantly relieving themselves wherever they choose.

Meanwhile the defeated rich desperately seek what shelter they can find in gated refugee communities, peeking furtively out from behind well-appointed window treatments. They live in fear of the weekly inspections by the special forces of the victorious poor known as ‘housekeepers’. Some must even submit to having their children indoctrinated by the elite Corps d’Au Pair.

When the rich dare to timidly emerge from these camps at all, They assemble as quickly as possible into protective groups known as ‘foursomes’ and rush headlong to the few places which offer them sanctuary – country clubs, exclusive restaurants, or even private islands. Even there, they are under the constant surveillance of the victors – never far from the prying eyes of caddies, waiters, and busboys.

It’s not clear how much more of this the rich can take, and it’s easy to see why these wretched souls fear another outbreak of class warfare.  It can only make their current precarious situation even more hazardous. 

Please, we must call a halt to this! 

Haven’t the rich suffered enough?